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Do couples buy engagement rings together? And should they?
engagement rings Brisbane

Do couples buy engagement rings together? And should they?

Coming Engagements and weddings are rife with traditions – from the white dress to the first dance. And this includes the tradition that it’s the person doing the proposing who shops for and buys the engagement ring.

But of course, traditions change.

New approaches to weddings and advancing ideas about who should propose and what makes a family have all turned these traditional approaches on their heads (and we’re big fans!).

Modern brides might choose to wear pink or black on their wedding day. A groom in 2024 might pick his best female friend as one of his attendants.

And the couple of today might also decide to buy an engagement ring (or rings!) together.

In fact, there are a lot of reasons why you might decide to shop for and ultimately buy an engagement ring with your future spouse. And a few reasons why you might not.

But no matter what you choose, it’s certainly a lovely option. Here’s why.

In this article

      • Traditional versus modern approach to engagement ring shopping

      • Pros and cons of shopping for engagement rings as a couple

      • Can a man wear an engagement ring?

      • Engagement ring shopping etiquette

      • Top tips for buying an engagement ring together

      • So should you shop together?

    Traditional versus modern approach to engagement ring shopping

    In Australia, traditionally an engagement ring was chosen and purchased by the proposer without any input from their partner. The proposal was then a surprise for the one being proposed to.

    Of course, this is still a lovely way to approach an engagement, and one that will never go out of fashion. But times are also changing – and so are traditions around proposing and therefore ring shopping.

    Today’s couples often decide together when it’s time to get married. And, in the same way, they often decide on the rings to buy… together.

    So, when our customers ask us if it’s ‘normal’ to go engagement ring shopping together, we can assure them that it definitely is!

    In fact, our own research shows that around a third (30-35%) of all couples approach ring shopping as a team. And this trend is growing because there are a lot of great reasons to adopt this approach – as well as some reasons why you may not want to.

    Pros and cons of shopping for engagement rings as a couple

    Shopping together as a couple has a lot of benefits, but also what could be considered as negatives by some couples.

    PROS:

      1. 1. Joint decision making. Buying an engagement ring as a couple allows both partners to participate in the process. This is a beautiful, collaborative approach to planning an engagement, a wedding and, of course, a marriage.

        2. No guesswork. The couple can have input in both rings – and you both get rings that you love

        3. Make memories. The experience becomes part of the overall engagement and is a lovely memory to cherish over the years

        4. Buy on budget. It’s not always romantic to talk about money when it comes to engagement rings, but it is practical. When you shop together as a couple you can buy lovely rings that suit your style and your budget.

      CONS:

      Of course, there are also a few things that could be viewed as negatives.

        1. 1. Lack of surprise. A surprise engagement can be a lovely adventure when it’s done well. So some couples believe that buying an engagement ring together can take some of the momentary excitement out of the proposal.

        2. 2. Indecision. Sometimes when you have both people involved it can bog down the decision making process.

        Can a man wear an engagement ring?

        We’re also often asked whether men get an engagement ring and a wedding ring. While traditionally engagement rings were only worn by women, many men today are embracing this tradition for themselves.

        Couples often like to both wear engagement rings as the engagement is equally applicable to both.

        In fact, in our experience, it’s as much as 5-10% with the number growing every year!

        Proposing to each other is becoming more common and is a beautiful way to get engaged. And buying engagement rings for both of you is a brilliant way to celebrate that!

        By personal preference some men wear their engagement rings on their right hand or even strung around a chain.

        However you want to celebrate your decision to commit to your partner is wonderful – including wearing an engagement band.

        Engagement ring shopping etiquette

        Regardless of whether you are shopping for an engagement ring on your own, or with your partner, there are some etiquette standards that are worth knowing.

        Discuss expectations with your partner

        If you’re going engagement ring shopping with your partner, it’s a good idea to set expectations. Having an open conversation about your preferences, from design to material to budget, will let you be prepared for the process.

        But be sure to be open to changing your mind too!

        We’ve seen couples walk in that think they’re looking for one type of ring but walk out having fallen in love with something completely different.

        Ask questions of your jeweller

        All good jewellers will be more than happy to help you with all your questions about buying an engagement ring, from the cut of the diamond to the colour to the size to the setting and even the care and maintenance.

        You should feel absolutely confident to sit down and ask any questions that you have.

        Set your budget

        There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to what to spend on an engagement ring. You should spend what you feel comfortable spending, with a focus on getting a ring or rings that you both love and that suit your style and personality.

        You should also make sure that it fits into your budget  as well.

        Consider which rings to buy

        You can easily buy all your rings – both engagement and wedding rings – at the same time. This gives you the confidence that you’ll get exactly what you want and be one less thing to worry about as the big day approaches. Of course, it’s also fine to wait and buy your wedding bands later.

        Take your time

        Sometimes couples might feel that they need to make a decision quickly. Absolutely not. Engagement rings are a big purchase, so don’t feel pressured to make a quick decision.

        Take your time viewing different pieces, trying them on and getting advice.

        Top tips for buying an engagement ring together

        Here are some of our favourite tips from Nick, our founder, on buying an engagement ring as a couple:

          1. 1.‘When you’re shopping together, it can still be very romantic. Take your time and enjoy the experience together. Have a glass of bubbles, and simply enjoy being together.’

            2. ‘A beautiful way to add a surprise element to your engagement rings when shopping together is to personalise them. You may have seen the rings, but the engraving will be a wonderful surprise expression of love that you can share later.’

            3. ‘Be sure to grab photographs. Hiring a photographer for the experience is always lovely, but even taking photos with your phone can capture the love and joy you’ll be feeling in that moment.’

          So should you shop together?

          Is shopping together for an engagement ring the right choice for you? There’s certainly no one-size-fits-all answer, nor should there be.

          Every individual and every couple is unique – and that’s what makes this process so beautiful! All that matters is that you both feel comfortable and excited about shopping for and buying your engagement ring.

          After all, it’s a symbol of your love, your commitment and your future.

          Nick and the entire team at Diamond Jewellery Studio are experts in engagement rings. We’d love to help you find the engagement rings that will suit you beautifully.

          Book an appointment to come into our studio to see our full range of stunning engagement rings, or to talk to us about customising the rings of your dreams.

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